The following is from Sister A. who reached out to share the words she wished to share.
I have laid awake at night puzzling over if there was a way to really share my experience with those of authority, and I always came up short. But since the church said they well share these comments with leadership, I share here in the hopes that these are really seen by the highest leaders. What follows comes from a place of deep love for Christ's church and the rising generations. Girls need to see that they matter beyond their roles of wife and mother. If girls sit out, not allowed to pass the sacrament despite it not being doctrine that they can't assist, and watch their young male peers serve, they start to see that their only way to serve the kingdom of God is by marrying and having babies. This puts them at risk.
Boys can choose to be worthy for the priesthood, and it is entirely within their control. Girls cannot always choose if they get married, and if pressured, without other good options, they may settle for offers that they would say no to if they didn't believe their divine worth was exclusively resting on it. I personally know women who married return missionaries young because it was the only plan ever taught in Young Women's, and was exactly what "God wanted them to do," but these relationships turned highly abusive, and the women stayed extra long, enduring even more abuse because of the celestial weight of the marriage, before finally breaking off. The way I was raised and taught in personal progress directly contributed to these women ending up in these situations.
Starting in their youth, girls need to see that they matter beyond their roles of wife and mother. They need to be empowered to know they can be multifaceted beings that are not expected to settle, or doomed to wait for the eternities to finally fulfill God's plan for themselves, and yes, a thing as simple as passing the sacrament helps teach that. We can do more to protect our daughters. This should matter more than the comfort of older saints who may be startled by the changes. Even in the best marriages, not every woman can bear children. I lost 6 out of my first 7 pregnancies, and a genetic mutation now runs in my family. My daughter may not be able to have children, and will face significant challenges when she tries. Years of Young Women's teachings echoed in my head as I went through each child loss, and I felt my worth as a daughter of God was less than because I couldn't bear these children. It is a needless ache that crushed my soul for years and compounded my pain and I refuse to pass it on. We are loved, needed, and can live wonderful, inspired, deeply fulfilling lives regardless of marital status or family size. I was not taught that, and our girls deserve to know that now. It starts with things like inclusion in sacrament passing.
The last thing I really want the highest levels of leadership to hear is about the value of using the phrase "Heavenly Parents" instead of just "Heavenly Father." Half of the members are sisters. It is doctrine that we have a Heavenly Mother who loves us. Why not include Her? It would mean so much. On top of that, partnership in a relationship is key to its happiness and success, and true, shared labor, honest-to-goodness partnership is hard and not absorbed naturally in our societies. Having our young men hear just Heavenly Father and our girls not hear Heavenly Mother perpetuates these challenges. Please. Us women flinch every time Heavenly Mother is excluded where She appropriately could be partnered with Heavenly Father, and it breaks my heart to feel that pain when I hear my Father's beloved name, as I love and worship Him too.
-Sister A.